Really?

This is probably the fourth or fifth call I've gotten like this in the past couple days:

"I'm calling because I was away in NY and I live in NorCal and I got this letter that said they were going to call me and they haven't called me yet."

Are. You. Effing. Kidding me?

**woooooooooooooooooooo!!!** (siren noise)

Me:"I always have these clients calling me saying, 'It's an emergency!'"
Secretary: "'You have a lot of emergencies, sir.'"
Me: "'You're LIFE is an emergency!'"