Oh yeah, duh. Somebody owes somebody an apology.

I keep meaning to apologize for the huge gap in posts. At my old job, where none of the internet was blocked, I could write effusively in the midst of a Rage Blackout with little to no imposition. At this new place, Blogger was blocked, sadly, so I was having to skirt my way around the internet limitations by writing my posts in Google Docs, and then adding them to Blogger later. But for one, it's just not the same. For two, by the time I got home to sit my fat butt on the couch and watch my recordings of Mercy, Chelsea Lately, and the Biggest Loser, the last thing I wanted to do was stare at the computer for even 15 minutes to move the Google Doc into Blogger.

But, something momentous happened. I was checking my email randomly a few weeks ago, and the images on an email from Twitter were actually showing up. (Twitter was one of the blocked sites, obvi.) So I clicked the link, and was taken straight to the login page of Twitter. My next stop, obviously, was Facebook, and HUZZAH! It worked!! Well, partially. Something still blocks FB chat and Sorority Life (a travesty, I know!) from functioning, and I can't upload photos or crop out new profile pics, but most everything else is fair game.

I checked Blogger as well, via my FAVE blog and partial Rage inspiration, Working Girl, but I was so used to no longer having a Rage Blackout outlet at work, that I kept forgetting I could blog again. But never fear, peeps, I'm back!! And I'm armed with lots of new stories and more friends.

As I mentioned in my first comeback entry, I have a new fellow Receptionist who I exchange emails with regularly. She's my bestie and just moved back to California after a long hiatus in the icky-horrid-job-market of relatively-rural Colorado. She'll be known as "Pearl", and I'll probably refer to her on a regular basis. Who knows, maybe she'll want to write a guest post or two.

The other major roadblock to my continued blogging is that I am no longer single! Wee!! After nearly of year of ridiculously casual dating and more than a few "misses", I finally hit a bulls-eye with "Peter". He's sweet and cuddly and just as over-eager and clingy as I am, and we share a strange random affinity for fleur-de-lis, astrology, and tattoos. I guess the last one isn't really strange or random, considering our generation's general inclination to be inked...Did I mention he loves taking me to lunch when he gets off work early or has a long lunch break? What a sweetie!

Anywho, Pearl and Peter will be probably be frequently mentioned from now on, since they are usually the first receptors of my rages, before I bring them to you. Especially Pearl. She and I tend to keep our insanity in check.

I am the Gatekeeper of the Fortress of Purchasing Protection, you shall. Not. PASS!

Here we are again, Monday. And not just any Monday, but the Monday that marks the end of my 6th month here. According to my good buddy Cal, a few people upstairs were promoted from Temporary to Permanent after 6 months with the company, so I'm crossing my fingers that I'll get some news like that in the next week or two. Not only getting away from my *horrid* staffing agency that takes a third of my paycheck, but benefits would be amazing. In 2 weeks I'll be turning 23 and I'll be getting kicked off my parent's insurance. My mom said they would pay for me to continue under the COBRA benefits, but since it's really expensive and I'm already living there rent-free, I'm really not looking forward to the added burden.

In lighter news, I got word today that one of my (few, normal) coworkers (that I actually like) got a little bit of a promotion. Let's call her "Patty". She actually talks to me when she comes to the lobby and gives me first dibs on all of the goofy samples and free gifts she gets. Because she works in the Purchasing department, sales reps are always giving her free promotional junk to get her to buy stuff from them. Seriously weird stuff from seriously weird people. Smuckers hot fudge? This guy is really going to open up his laptop and make sales calls from the lobby?

I have really come to admire the people that work in Purchasing. They have to meet with and talk to annoying, greasy, schmoozy sales reps all the time who I can barely stand talking to for 5 minutes while I wait for Patty or one of the other purchasing buyers to come down and meet with them. They also get lots of cold calls and random drop-ins, and dealing with the latter is the most work but also the most satisfying. Essentially, I get to tell them to piss off, since an appointment is required to meet with any of our buyers, to avoid these annoying nut-jobs. Of course, I don't actually get to say "Piss off", which would probably make things a lot easier, and this is where things get sticky. (And by sticky I mean with their copious amounts of disgusting and unattractive hair gel.) As we all know from dealing with car salesmen, telemarketers, and anyone else who works on commission, these people are pretty...uh..."persistent". They pepper me with questions about how many people work here, what Patty or the other buyers' extensions or emails are, and "Is this the product you sell? You don't manufacture here, do you?" More often than not they are working in pairs, so I have four hungry eyes (or sometimes two hungry eyes and two pleading eyes, if the latter pair belong to a trainee) searching and dissecting me for fissures and weaknesses in my Fortress of Purchasing Protection. I feel like Gandalf every time they retreat out the door again in defeat. Then I reach quickly for the hand sanitizer because just talking to them makes me feel like I have cooties scampering all over my skin. Yuckth.

Oh, speaking of hand sanitizer, being the receptionist with a cold is no fun. I feel like a rat during the Bubonic Plague. Thank God I am quarantined to the front lobby, all alone. :(

Kill Me. Kill Me Now.

This lady that just came in is a Hot. Mess.

First of all, she is hobbling in here in crutches with a whole laptop bag and this huge brace on her left knee. I had to run around and help her even get in the front door, cause it's so heavy. She compliments my shoes (the peep-toe booties with the zippers and stuff on them that I bought for V-day) and then she tells me she's here to see a guy in our office, but she pronounces the name wrong. I could probably forgive that on any other occasion, people butcher the shiz out of people's names all the time, but I've seen this woman before. She came in sans appointment (and knee brace) a couple of weeks ago trying to "get a moment" with Tod*. And then she goes into this whole story about how she's supposed to have had the meeting at "10:15, well, 10:30" but then she got a late start (probs her gimpy leg) and went on and on about how tried Tod's cell multiple times, and "he just wouldn't answer!" As if all he does all day is field calls from people--this dude isn't even a VP and he's running like 3 or 4 departments right now.
So I'm like "Ok, ma'am, hold on" so I can call Tod's extension, and then possibly his assistant. And OF COURSE she's one of those over-the-counter peerers, trying to watch everything I'm bloody doing, talking to me WHILE I'M MAKING THE PHONE CALL about how he wasn't answering his cell phone, so maybe I should call someone who sits next to him.
For one, Lady, I'm on the f*cking phone. Back up for like 30 seconds. Second, I have no idea where Tod's office is in these two ginormous buildings, let alone who sits next to him, for Chrissake. Third, Tod is not some cubicle-bound moron, he's the Director of Operations on top of at least two other departments that he's managing temporarily while we look for someone to replace the former directors.
And this whole time she's bloody peering, which makes me absolutely INSANE. When Tod's extension went to voice mail--like it almost ALWAYS does--she comments AGAIN about how he wasn't answering his cell phone, blah blah blah. I keep my homicidal** urges to myself long enough to get on the phone with his assistant, who--praise Jesus--answers in the 2nd ring and says she'll go track him down.

Then, we wait.

Probably 10 minutes pass til the assistant comes out to tell this lady they'll have to reschedule again. They chit-chatted about knee injuries (and gag-me-with-a-spoon,I'm-only-halfway-through-my-ep-of-Marriage-Ref,will-you-please-move-it-along?). And wouldn't you know it? This lady is STILL sitting here on her laptop after the assistant has left, and THEN--sweet merciful heaven, give me strength--she ask to see our accounts payable manager "if he has a moment" (I'm really learning to DESPISE that phrase.) He's been out all week, so I don't actually have to do anything, but its that look on her face like "aw shucks". Makes me want to kick a puppy or something. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

This is mostly copy-pasted from an email to a fellow Receptionist, not 30 seconds after sending it, I had to send the following:

OMG SHE JUST ASKED FOR THE ASSISTANT AGAIN WTFF JUST LEAVE LADY I'M SICK OF YOU

"I swear this leg thing has affected my brain! Haha Or at least its a good excuse, right? hahaha"

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


I hope your Fridays are going well. Boooooooo...

*Name changed, because, lets face it, I don't wanna get fired.
**I tried to spell that "homocidal"...I love The Gays that much.