When In Rome

Dear Secretary From Another Firm Who Asks Me Questions About Specific Documents and Motions in a Specific Case,

For one, you called the MAIN OFFICE NUMBER; you have not reached a secretary, you have reached a receptionist. Don’t ask receptionists things like that, because your legal jargon might as well be Italian grammar lessons--meaning I understand “gelato”, "spaghetti" and “motion to…” but the rest of it is lots of hand gestures, tomato sauce and those 1,000-page documents with the numbers all down the left margin. It is way above my ($13-something/hr) pay grade. Please HOLD ON while I transfer someone who gets paid 3 to 30 times what I do.

Thanks so much.

The Raging Receptionist