The last game of 20 Questions I played was with a guy who reminds me of Rain Man, so his nickname will be Ray. I have been making coffee back in the kitchen (a task I loathe), and when I returned to my desk, Ray was bee-lining towards it from the other directed with a stack of paper in his hand. "You weren't at your desk, so I was just going to leave this for you." "This" was a stack of 2 documents, an Overnight Express shipping recepit, and a post-it stuck to the top with a note from Ray, simply stating:
Receptionist--
Can you send these out? Project Numbers 1001 and 1002. Thanks.
--Ray
Yeah, thanks Ray. Now because you didn't fill out our handy-dandy, "no need to clarify 99% of the time" transmittal forms, it's time to play 20 Questions before you leave the office for a meeting that will last for probably over two hours. Remind yourself that I am talking to Rain Main Incarnate, so there is lots of stuttering and pausing...
Me: "There are two project numbers...do you want one transmittal with both numbers on it or two separate transmittals?"
Ray: "Uhhh...uh, y-yeah... Two transmittals, so we can have them in each of the files." (Because I can't just make one transmittal with both numbers and save it in both folders? Goody, more work for me.)
Me: "Ok, and what exactly are these documents? What am I sending?"
Ray: "Oh, it's right here [flips through to the first page of the document, reads off the title]."
Me: "And is there just one of each?"
Ray: "Uhhh...Uh, yeah..."
Me: "And is this [points to Overnight Express receipt return address] who I'm sending it to?"
Ray: "Uhhh...No! No! Not this person... This address, but send it to Bob Smith at this address. That person is probably just some secretary or something." (Uh, yeah, cause I'm just the receptionist...or something...I am getting even more excited to procrastinate as much as possible on this for you, Sir.)
Then, having run out of patience after only four questions and finally being overwhelmed by the nervous energy flowing from Ray's incessant moving and anxiety to leave for his meeting, I say "Ok" and settle into my task.
Barely five minutes into the first transmittal, I realize that I have forgotten to ask perhaps the second most important question of 20 Questions: Transmittal Edition--"How do you want this sent--what service, how fast?" Sh*t, I say to myself. Well, its the perfect excuse to procrastinate. If he had just filled out the transmittal form, this would've been done in minutes.
Having Ray out of the office means two things will happen: I will have more, unpressured time to complete transmittals and other little things for him. Thumbs up. But I will also have to field at least three calls from his cell phone, asking frantically for someone as if it were a life and death matter. Because Ray is just like his cinematic counterpart and has trouble with normal human interaction, all of his calls sound like this:
Me: "Good morning/afternoon, Company Name."
Ray: "Hi Receptionist, this is Ray."
Me: "Hi Ray!"
Ray: [awkward pause where Ray sometimes sounds as if he is choking on air] "Oh, Hi... C-can I talk to, uh, This Person?"
While I was twiddling my thumbs with nothing else to do but practice my mind-reading skills, I was lucky enough to receive one of these calls from Ray. But the add to the awkwardness, I snuck in my question after he had asked for This Person. And his answer was only too annoying: "Oh...uh...uhhh...whatever, I guess." "Does it need to be there quickly or does it not matter?" "Uhh...uh...it doesn't really matter, I guess." I can hear in his voice that we wants to get off the phone with me and back to This Person as soon as humanly possible.
I need to write about 20 Questions With Phone Calls, but I am suffering from a slight case of postprandial hypoglycemia and must find out a way to nap at my desk.
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